I know it's been a while since I have posted on here and I know I'm not helping other, by not doing so. I have finally started doing the things I told my mother I would. The things my mother and I always talked about was health and life. Neither of us had or has a very exciting life, I can say that mine is now getting better, unfortunately it had to be after my mother was gone, but than again I'll take it any way I can get it. There are three things imp-articular that goes along with our talks.
The major thing we always talked about was my physical health. My health scared my mother because it was mimicking her health. Our problems both started around the same age. The only problem was she knew about the health issues I already had, and knew I didn't need any more. It's been now 6 months since my Mother passed and I finally found a doctor to see and am trying to work on getting all my health issues taken care of for at least now. I do need medications and not having them isn't helping the grieving process. Yes I a still grieving and no one can tell me any different. So far I have seen the doctor once, told her exactly what I want done and now it's wait a month till we get your records back. Which means nothing to me for the fact that I know my mom is happy just knowing that I am doing something about it.
I started seeing a Therapist lately. I have only actually seen him twice, but so far it is working. This is one thing I HIGHLY RECOMMEND for anyone grieving a loved one. I always had the notion that they were just gonna sit and judge me and this and that. I PROMISE you it's nothing like that and I'm loving the results I am getting from seeing my therapist..I have already stopped crying as much at odd times. When I want to cry I just try to think of something happy like a good memory and it is getting better, I will not say easier, just better. I have noticed being less stressed out and have not been yelling at my daughter as much. Therapy id the one key I think to getting my mind right and I know many have different opinions about things and I would like to hear them if you read this.
The last thing I finally did was go back to school. I was in college and I gave it up, because it got to be what I considered to hard. Honestly I just get bored easily, so I stopped. Well I changed schools because that had part to do with it and I also changed majors. I now attend Phoenix Online and am working on my Bachelors in Human Services with a Certification in Addiction. I figured why not right. If you read a couple of my other blogs, which I need to work on some time, you will see that addiction has been around me for a long time and I think it just took that one little push over the edge (losing mom) to notice that it's something I have a lot of experience with and have always had in my life at one point or another. This will be an awesome thing I do believe.
Even though you may not have done things while someone was with you in life, doesn't mean you can't do them after they are gone. I have to pretty much learn to not rely on my mother any more even though I did so for 31 years. She was always my shining light and had all the answers or so it seemed. I know that even though she is not here with me, she knows I am finally done procrastinating and getting on with my life, because I have seen reality before me and I do think my mother for that. I even go out of my comfort zone with cooking now, that way I can try new things and take my mind off of other things. I'm trying to see the loss as a reason to try and fill the void with new things and you never know what you might fall in love with doing or just something to revert to when you need a stress release. My best recommendation for stress relief is therapy or a massage..
The major thing we always talked about was my physical health. My health scared my mother because it was mimicking her health. Our problems both started around the same age. The only problem was she knew about the health issues I already had, and knew I didn't need any more. It's been now 6 months since my Mother passed and I finally found a doctor to see and am trying to work on getting all my health issues taken care of for at least now. I do need medications and not having them isn't helping the grieving process. Yes I a still grieving and no one can tell me any different. So far I have seen the doctor once, told her exactly what I want done and now it's wait a month till we get your records back. Which means nothing to me for the fact that I know my mom is happy just knowing that I am doing something about it.
I started seeing a Therapist lately. I have only actually seen him twice, but so far it is working. This is one thing I HIGHLY RECOMMEND for anyone grieving a loved one. I always had the notion that they were just gonna sit and judge me and this and that. I PROMISE you it's nothing like that and I'm loving the results I am getting from seeing my therapist..I have already stopped crying as much at odd times. When I want to cry I just try to think of something happy like a good memory and it is getting better, I will not say easier, just better. I have noticed being less stressed out and have not been yelling at my daughter as much. Therapy id the one key I think to getting my mind right and I know many have different opinions about things and I would like to hear them if you read this.
The last thing I finally did was go back to school. I was in college and I gave it up, because it got to be what I considered to hard. Honestly I just get bored easily, so I stopped. Well I changed schools because that had part to do with it and I also changed majors. I now attend Phoenix Online and am working on my Bachelors in Human Services with a Certification in Addiction. I figured why not right. If you read a couple of my other blogs, which I need to work on some time, you will see that addiction has been around me for a long time and I think it just took that one little push over the edge (losing mom) to notice that it's something I have a lot of experience with and have always had in my life at one point or another. This will be an awesome thing I do believe.
Even though you may not have done things while someone was with you in life, doesn't mean you can't do them after they are gone. I have to pretty much learn to not rely on my mother any more even though I did so for 31 years. She was always my shining light and had all the answers or so it seemed. I know that even though she is not here with me, she knows I am finally done procrastinating and getting on with my life, because I have seen reality before me and I do think my mother for that. I even go out of my comfort zone with cooking now, that way I can try new things and take my mind off of other things. I'm trying to see the loss as a reason to try and fill the void with new things and you never know what you might fall in love with doing or just something to revert to when you need a stress release. My best recommendation for stress relief is therapy or a massage..
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